Day 56

It's the last official day of the competition today... I am so disappointed with myself that words cannot even begin to describe it. I was supposed to be 85.something today, and instead I am 87.2 again. And it's probably all down to yesterday's frolicking.. It was just 4 f**king days left, and I just couldn't stay sober,could I... Had to cut training this morning short because I felt like shite, so went home and just wanted to curl up in a ball under my covers and wait for next winter to come. T_T

Well... I didn't. Instead I curled up in a ball under my covers and waited for an hour until my headache had gone, then went down to the veggie market and then I went back to the gym. A second and slightly better solution, now I feel much better and ready for some seriously intense studying!

Dunno how I'm gonna quit this blog. I've become quite attached to it, really... even more than my "real life" blog. And I'm gonna miss my trainer now that it's all over. Guess I could always hire him once a week, but then who knows? He might just wanna kill himself with the prospect of having to listen to more of my complaining... hehe

Soundtrack of the day: Tiki Taane - Now this is it

Day 55

Long day... Up at 8, went to the gym at 9, home, studied, then left the house at 1pm to go to Karori to swim with a friend. Karori pool is by far the best in town, imho. It was my first visit there, and there were practically no other ppl there. Awesome.
It was really after the visit to the pool that things went astray... I ended up visiting friends, and did not manage to stay sober... All in all it was a pretty active day/night though, walking to and from Karori twice.. I must have walked more than 8 km altogether, checking out roads that I've never walked before, meeting ppl I've never met before... All that jazz :)

Day 54

Having all this chocolate in the house is driving me mad. It feels like giving up smoking all over again.. Exept that .. Chocolate doesn't cause cancer.. All I can think about is chocolate. I can't go near the living room where I set out the bowl for my flatmates.. and I've tucked my stash way back in the darkest corner of my cupboard. Today I just needed SOMETHING, so I resorted to an extravagant pasta meal. Not unhealthy though! I came across monkfish on special at New World today, and couldn't resist. It's been ages since I ate monkfish last time, and it was sooo nice! I'm actually totally stuffed now, even though I didn't even eat a full 140g serving of pasta (probably for the first time in my whole life).



Gym today was ok, got there around 7 am and found that I actually like waking up that way. Weird... it feels harder to exercise that early, but my day just feels brighter afterwards. No matter how hard I torture my abs now they don't get sore. Boring. Been listening to this song over and over... I just can't get it out of my head!! And it's so pathetic! Warning: Don't listen to this song if you're epileptic or have a weak mind..

Day 53

Shiit, I'm 86.8 kilos today, and the goal is to be 85.? by Sunday. Guess that means opting out on sundried tomatoes and olives... And buying lunch. And drinking on the weekend.. Well, I'll make up for lost drinking opportunities when I go skiing on the 10th of September. Yayy! After 9 weeks of training I think I'll have enough stamina to stay on the slopes for longer too. :) Hopefully I still remember how to ski!! :S What would be more embarrassing than being Norwegian and not knowing how to ski..

When I got home today, a huuuge parcel was waiting for me at the door!!! Yayyy! My mum sent me a care-package from Norway. And as I dug out the content from the deep dark corners of the cardboard, rejoycing over caviar, cheese, mackerel in tomato sauce (may sound gross but it's yummylicious) and soups, I realised that she has sent me enough chocolate to kill two medium sized dogs. MY GOD. It's more than a kilo!! And I can't get rid of it that easily either, because it's in huge blocks! So... I guess I'll bring some to the ski trip for the benefit of the other Norwegians. but... what to do with it all????? I'm not allowing myself ANY chocolate till I hit 80 kilos. It's enough to go bulimic. Or anorexic, to hit 80 faster.. ^_^

I love my mum

Finally, sending some thoughts of healing to my trainer, who is getting sick. Stay away from the Bourbon this weekend, boy! It's just a myth!

Day 52

After a rather long session at the gym of boxing and kicking (or rather, trying to kick) a bag, I kinda expected my foot to be messed up again. And it kinda isn't! It's really weird.. I kicked the bag hard at an odd angle a few times and it felt really painful, but the swelling is really minimal. Which is great! Maybe I don't have to get used to being a cripple at all! :) I guess it's possible (or rather likely) that I've just become a sissy after all the trouble that I've had with that ankle, so that now I don't dare use it because I'm scared that It'll go emo on me. (I swear, It if really heals up this time, I will NEVER EVER again go climbing trees after a night out!!!! It's just not worth it..) It felt really bad to be kicking though... I used to be so good at it, and now I really suck. I told Chris at the gym that it's been 8 years since I quit training Karate... It's been more!! It's been 11 years!!! It's been so long that I can't even remember how long it's been. Man... I'm getting old.

Promised myself white meat today... Is salmon white meat? Or .. it's not red, that's for sure, but it's not really white either. hmm..

Day 51

What a grey day it is today.. was so grumpy this morning that I almost just cancelled the day.. must be PMS or something. Done over an hour at the gym, because I knew that as soon as I was finished I'd slave away at my thesis, which I have finally managed to start. It'll be alright...

Just had a fantaabulous dinner: roast lamb and veggies with pepper and herbs. My new favourite dish. :) Definitely a white meat day tomorrow though!

Day 50

Into the final week of the competition now. Yesterday my weight was 87.1 kilos, I'm gonna aim for 85ish by the final weighing, unless that'll be on Sunday.. But if I get an extra week or so, definitely. It's really weird in a way... It may have seemed very hard in the first weeks, but now I'm thinking that if it's this easy to loose weight, how come I haven't done it before??

The only thing that I truly miss is to get smashed more often (hehe) but apart from that I'm surviving, even the chocolate cravings are getting milder and milder, I still have a psychological addiction to the substance, but I don't get extremely grumpy when I deny myself chocs anymore. Now I am more in a state of fear, that if I break my abstinence I'm gonna fall back into the habit. I've already decided on my 'reward' after the final weighing: Spaghetti and my special sauce. ^_^ It may not seem like much, but damn.. I'm just really awesome at making spaghettisauce. It's xxtremely fatty though. I haven't had pasta for two months now... weird huh? Pasta was what I survived on last trimester, it was my dinner for two months straight! Times they do change...

I guess I'm pretty happy with my effort these 8 weeks. I could have done much more, but that would probably have made the task seem too big for me. Or distracted me more from my studies. So yeah, I'm happy about what I have achieved.. it's more than I ever expected, really. I thought I'd be able to lose 7 kgs at the most, if I tried really hard. I'm glad that I was wrong. since I'm still losing a kilo per week, it'll be interesting to see how far down my weight goes before it stabilises. (I assume that sooner or later it will stabilise!!) :D. Then, in February, the ultimate reward, if I can make it down to a small enough size: Shopping in Asia!!! It would almost be worth it to drop by Bangkok just to shop for clothes, but I am sure that Singapore and Cambodia will have enough stuff to blow off my budget for the autumn trimester next year.. ^_^ So I'd better keep my eyes on the prize, and forget that the competition ever ended. It's more of a lifelong competition, really. I guess I'm repeating myself on that point... but it's true: The only person I really need to beat at this is myself.

Day 49

Today I feel like a total failure. My left-right coordination is shit (I always knew that), my ability to interpret instructions is shit (kinda knew that too), but what really hurts, is that I completely lack the ability to balance! So, to make myself feel better, I took my credit card for a walk. (uh oh..) I got myself a new swissball, right size this time (That's right I did! We'll fucken see who can't balance on a ball after 8 weeks!), new headphones and tea + infusers to releave stress. I feel a bit better after spending a good 100 bucks. Xept that I already managed to smash my leg into the coffeetable in the living room after falling off the ball 5 times... It'll heal. Probably faster than my pride.

Did something slightly whacky today. I put my sneakers on the kitchen scale (don't tell my flatties, ppl! It was a somewhat clean operation anyway..)and what I found out was a bit .. weird. When I did my halfway weighing, I weighed 92,7 with the shoes on, and 91,6 without the shoes. So, you'd think they weighed 1.1 kilos, right? No. They only weigh 640 grams... (*enter eerie music)

Day 48

I'm completely running out of things to blog about. Life during the holiday is mundane to the max, I'm just being lazy, watching movies, going to the gym (still not that lazy then) and every now and then I think I should study but I don't. I feel bored.. I guess I don't generally like having holidays, my routine gets all messed up and I end up staying in my room all day because I don't technically have to leave it. I guess maybe I should take the opportunity to check out the walks around the city, since the weather is pretty alright these days (touch wood). In any case I shouldn't stay in all day!

*Crossing my fingers for the handball-ladies. :)

Day 47

When I finished at the gym today I didn't really feel like I'd done much... did 35 minutes on the crosstrainer and kinda lost all steam so went home. But really felt crap. So, I decided to walk to pack'n'save to get some fresh supplies. It took about an hour and a quarter of what I'd call pleasant walking tempo. Later on I went to town to check out my friends' neighbours' band. Not bad. My back is sore now.... Been walking/dancing for about 4 hours combined.. Gonna sleep like a baby!

Day 46

Today was a pretty long day... Got up at 5, was at the gym by 6, and won't get to bed until midnight! Went with a friend to see a movie at Reading called Bank Job, pretty allright, but I expected something like Snatch or Lock Stock, so was kinda freaked out by the more brutal happenings. Ah well, I enjoyed it, nothing like lazing in the dark with popcorn. ^_^

Tried 0ut Hog's Breath at Reading, was thoroughly unimpressed. Ok, admittedly the food looked really nice, but after eating healthy for over a month, it really didn't taste like much. The salad was completely drenched in dressing, they had snuck bacon in all over the place and the salmon was only half cooked... ew. What can I say... really really american. Boosted with fat, as much of it as possible. Well, enough whining. Time to sleep.

Here's the brainbug I've had for a good while now... Can't shake it! Fine, I do listen to pretty crap music when I go to the gym, but quite frankly, as long as it makes me wanna move, I don't care what other ppl think. ;)

Day 45

Grrr... I don't know if it's because of the absence of lollies but this essay that I am writing is going EXTREMELY slow. It could just be lack of motivation I guess.. I need a PROPER holiday!

did 20 minutes on the step machine today (I really intensely hate that machine!), not because I had to but because I could. Ok, I kinda did feel like I had to when my trainer told me that I could "rest today" by doing 10 minutes... And my legs aren't even dying! Well, they kinda are but it's not down to the stepper, they were dying already. LOL

It's getting a bit strange now. Ppl I know are telling me that they can see change, but when I look in the mirror I see no difference at all. I kinda anticipated this when I created my blog-name (mirroronthewall27), but still.... I know that I probably have changed some (seeing as the scales show a lower number now than it used to), but it seems that my brain is programmed not to recognise it. Not fair. How much before I start seeing it? I'm doing this for me, after all, not for anyone else...

Day 44

I've officially left the 90's, although it's technically only by 100 grams.. heh. No looking back now! It must have been about 7 years since I was under 90 kilos.. I kinda gained a lot and fast when I moved north in 2000. But then Bodoe is a shithole.. I was stuck indoors for the 5 years that I lived there, as it was too cold to do anything fun outside for about 8 months of the year. Resolution: Never again live in a frosty windhole. Never again live in a place where the temperature can (and does) drop to under
-20 in the winter. The only drawback is that then I'll never again live in a place where I can see northern lights in winter and have midnight sun in the summer.. I miss that. But it's not worth gaining weight again for. Hmm... I'll get a batch or something up north... yeah.. problem solved.

I guess that means that I need to get offline NOW, finish my essay so that I'll be able to get my masters degree, then a great job, and be able to afford that batch!

Day 43

Man... it's hard to write essays without eating lollies. It's even harder to write essays without eating lollies when my cupboard is full of chocolate... My friend brought me my fav chocolate from Norway (Hobby) when she got back, and it's just lurking at the back of the pantry, calling to me from the dark, knowing that deep, deep down I have not forgotten about it. And then there is the "healthy" chocolate that I bought at pac'n'save about a month ago, thinking that if I was gonna crack, then it had better be a dark chocolate rather than a milk chocolate. And then there is the rest of the m&ms that I used to decorate Christine's birthdaycake, and the chocolate that I "had to" accept during class cause I'd feel a bit rude if I kept turning it down. Man... I need to have a Chocorcism...

Day 42

I woke up at 9:30 this morning, after partying hard yesterday. And I felt just great! It was almost weird... Usually I'm either still drunk or quite dizzy when I wake up after drinking, but I didn't feel a trace of hangover at all. Did feel a bit tired at the gym though, I did an hours worth of biking today, my legs are now really in need of some rest. Was supposed to have fish today, but metro didn't have any... So I treated myself to venison instead. As usual I went completely overboard with veggies, but it was great. Funny, I'm eating better than before, but it's costing me a lot less than eating out. This meal cost me no more than it would to go and get a laksa at satay kingdom. After eating takeaway for a couple of nights now that the play has been on, it was nice to cook at home again. Need to get back on track, I'm scared that I've been gaining rather than losing this weekend with drinking and eating out... not good.

Day 41

It would definitely seem that my alcohol tolerance has gone down. I think that might be a good thing, I'll save money and I'll spare my liver.. :D The last performance went very well. My legs were a bit tired still from two days of legwork at the gym, but not too tired to dance away at the cast party. It is getting so close to the end! I've been working quite well solo lately thoa, so I'm sure that I'll be alright. Went online and found this amazing database of exercises (from Shapefit)to strengthen different muscles and muscle groups... yay! So now I can put together my own routine before hitting the gym. Internet is just sooo useful.. How did people ever survive without it?!

German Play 2008 - OUT!

Day 40

Second to last night of play performances! -now I am preparing myself for the major afterparty tomorrow... It will be WILD. I wonder how low my alcohol tolerance has become from not drinking in 5 weeks. Will be interesting to find out. ^_^

Day 39

Feeling HEAPS better today! only have a sore throat and am coughing a lot, but that is ok. Been to see the foot doctor, I don't have to operate!!! YUSSSS!!! It also means that I might just have to get used to being a cripple, which is not that much fun, but the verdict was: "You have some bruising of the bone on the lateral aspect of the dome of the talus. Aslo, some fluid gathering on the side of the ankle. And the (thing) that bends your big toe is slightly inflamed. At this point, there is not much I can do to make it any better, I think it will settle down on its own. Just keep using it within the range of comfort. If it keeps getting sore, come back to see me." (I predict that I'll be seeing him again, when I get sick of having to deal with a moody ankle..). But for now, that means that I can just give a shit about it for a while. :)

Went boxing today, and after my wrist started hurting I threw away the gloves (done that before, and it was ok). I thought it was ok today too, didn't really hurt any, but now my hands look terrible, especially my right hand.. I mean, look at it! It looks as though I've been in a fight or something... real gross.

My weight is now bang on 90 Kilos. Wheee! next week I'll be in the 80's range!

Day 38

Getting worse by the day... Woke up today and my throat just felt like sandpaper, my nose was completely blocked, and head was swimming... breakkie with a cup of honey, lemon and ginger helped a bit, and I guess the lemsip pills also helped, and I did get up Mount St, that was my barometer for going to the gym. So, after 50 minutes of high intensity cardio, I actually feel better. It's almost a bit odd.. I'm just gonna rest now for a couple of hours, and then get to the premiére and hopefully everything will go fine despite my nose being blocked.

I notice that I'm getting less and less dependent on my beloved food/exercise diary. I also don't really need motivation to go to the gym anymore, I kinda just do it, and it makes me feel good. I've been going to the gym every day for 22 consecutive days now! Wuhu! Guess I've managed to make it part of my everyday life at last... :D

Day 37

Uh oh, feeling worse today than yesterday... :S I've pumped myself full of nose spray, ginger, lemon, manuka honey, propolis and panadol... it should be allright. Don't feel that bad at the moment, gym was hard but ok, I actually felt better after gym than I did before (dunno if that is because of the physical activity or all the pills that I took before I walked up the hill though).. why do I always get sick when I really really don't have the time to be sick?? I guess there might be a cause and effect relationship there.. I guess I should be a good girl and eat my brazil nut every day to get selenium, seeing as the soil in NZ doesn't have any, and thus it is hard for ppl in NZ to get selenium through the everyday diet without actively seeking it out. I have been eating heaps of tuna though... hm. Maybe I should incorporate it in my breakkie every day. Couldn't hurt.

Day 36

It has been a very long day... Up early, read as much as I can for my assignment, boxing with Scotty at 10, home to read more, tech rehearsals for the play from 6pm - 11pm. It's really really hard to get the eating done at the times that I'm supposed to.. the play will be on every night this week from 7:30 pm, and warmups start just around dinnertime, I have to be there every nigth at 6pm. Which means cold dinners every day.. I guess I could swop around dinner and lunch, it just feels a bit weird. oh well, it's only for 1 week! Feeling a bit off... hope it's nothing!

Day 35

Play rehearsals took FOREVER, I just managed to run down to rec centre and do my workout before they closed... the week ahead will be CRAAAAAZY. Play performances every night and assignments due... EEEEK! And going to the gym every day too... Gonna be just madness.

Day 34

Saturday! Partynight! Christine got the flu, so I didn't go swimming after all. Went out dancing in town for the first time in aaaaages, and came home and managed to catch the end of NZ-Norway Women's soccer online. We won! But what is much better: We won the handballmatch against China! YUSSSS. I am fairly passionate about soccer, but not quite as eager as when it comes to handball... it's been the one thing along skisports that my family has always been quite united about, I guess I'm just a sports geek in general, I just don't have that much time anymore to watch tv and keep up to date with all the sports events. I do manage to keep up with my soccer team at home (Brann) and usually the Euro cup or World cup in Handball is just when I arrive home for Christmas (very convenient), so I manage to see most of women's handball as well. But now, I'm soo busy and there's the Olympics on!!! AArgh! I just wanna watch TV all the time!

Day 33

Whee, 33, two times my lucky number. :) I'm taking it to the next level: Tomorrow, I am again doing "two" sets of exercise. I wanna go swimming with my friend Christine, but it won't be much of a workout for me, seeing as my arms are way too sore to do proper strokes and my ankle doesn't like the footwork... so I'll just splash around, maybe try out the aquajogging stuff. So, to get a "real" workout I'm going up to the gym in the morning. I wish it would open earlier, but I guess 9am will have to do.

I've caught up with my last fitness test weight that was done without shoes (my shoes are pretty heavy!) : I now weigh 91.6 kilos. It's going the right way still. :) Maybe I will be able to achieve my goal of 10 kilos weightloss in 8 weeks. whoppee!

Day 32

I just realised that I've spent over 2 hours at the gym today... That's pretty hard out, considering that I can't really extend my arms fully as I am too sore from yesterday's workout. I feel partly dead, in a good way. (K, that sounds a bit morbid, but that's ok..) Sooooo tired. gonna be an early night tonight.

Day 31

Talk about release of endorfines... With the combination of hard workout and sunshine, I'm so happy that I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. I've got a whole hour to kill before people start arriving for the dinner tonight.. Oh yea: I'm hosting a dinner for the norwegian students in Wellington tonight. Got quite an allright number of people who signed up, about 10ish. I'm making a norwegian speciality: Milk rice porridge with cinnamon, sugar and a dot of butter. It's the standard saturday meal... Ok, so it's not saturday, but that doesn't matter. I'll be having salad though... heh. :D


I'm going senile I think. By the time I finished workout today I couldn't rememeber what I started with... I just finished the abs workout, and couldn't understand why my legs were tired. Because I started with the step machine, that's why!

Day 30

It's been a month! A whole month.... Already! It has just flown by, I'm gonna be so sad when the competition is over and I have to go on all alone, without my trainer... I'm just getting used to him. All the diet stuff I've been doing on my own, so that won't be a problem, but I feel a bit like a dork when I'm lifting weights alone.. hehe. I guess that's just something that also needs to become a habit. At least he has taught me a lot, so that I know what I need to be doing when the comp ends. It's just a bit scary to be over half way done, makes me think more about the "afterlife."

Tonight I'm going to my friend's birthdayparty. I hope she won't mind that I won't eat any of the cake that I made for her... Ow really though, who's gonna complain about having to eat more chocolate cake. Eating out is usually a real challege though, in terms of eating healthy. I don't really know what to order tonight.. It won't be a balanced meal in any way, I think. It'll either be overheavy on the carbs, or on the protein. I guess I just have to choose which of the two I'm gonna go for...

Day 29

Today I have to bake a chocolate cake, and decorate it with lots and lots of small, very snackable m&ms.... It will be hell. The alcoholic is in charge of making punch. I suppose if I can get through that without eating any chocolate, then I can get through pretty much anything!

My ankle is really sore.. I'm going to suggest boxing for today's training, as that is relatively stress free on the legs, then some abs workout. Should be allright.

11:25 pm:

I am superwoman.

'Nuff said.

Day 28

Wow, I'm already midway through the programme!

I had a pretty bad dream about the competition last night, it was kinda weird... So far it hasn't felt like a competition at all, but after that dream I wonder if that's changed. I can't remember the details of the dream but it was something about a field, out on a farmland that looked similar to home in Norway, and ... I can't remember what went on there, but all the contestants were there, and running away from something. Then we hid in this café like place, and the others kinda turned into skinny people just like that, and for some odd reason I was riding on the back of a massive guy that was also in the competition... I guess it wasn't as much the happenings in the dream itself that was scary, more the feelings that I had dreaming it. We were all enemies, we all just hated each other, and every friendly phrase was all pretence..

Oh well. I was wondering if I should skip gym today because of my ankle, it did not like swimming yesterday at all, was very painful by the end of the day. I decided to go anyway, and just take it easy. Biking seems to be a perfect way of keeping it happy while exercising. Haha, listen to me going on about it... It's like it's got a life of its own now. My moody ankle that tells me what I can and cannot do. Growl.

Day 27

Back to healthy street after yesterday's dinner blowout. I've gone swimming, and have been a good girl. Dinner: Salmon with Swede mash. MMmm.. ^_^
Now, it is Saturday evening, my flat is filled with people I don't know, and everyone is drinking, and I have a bottle of vodka sitting on top of my bookshelf. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

Day 26

Today I did my half-way testing, (or some of it) and it's definitely showing results. :) I was scared that it wouldn't be much, but it seems that my efforts really are paying off. I have lost 6 kgs (or, that is what the scales at kelburn said, with shoes I weighed 92.7 kgs.. I wonder if the kelburn scales aren't a bit dodgy though..) and I've gotten rid of 5cm around my waist and hip. And chest... damn. I guess I'm gonna have to make some sacrifices to get into shape... and maybe going back to a B-cup wouldn't be the end of the world.. ^_^

So, to reward myself for being such a good girl, I allowed myself a meal out. I love Korean, and although it is not the healthiest of eats, I figured I had kindof deserved it. At least I can go to bed today, knowing that what I do does make a difference. I suppose I should remember that next time I stand on the scales and the weight stands still.